No Disrespect Loike

Ireland’s Oldest Man avoids impending Water Charges by Dying.


Ireland’s Oldest Man has thwarted the current Irish government out of some much needed prop-up quango cash by simply dying.

A FG spokesperson has stated that Irish Water are examining a scenario whereby surviving family members can be charged for the premium liquid Mr. Dolan (exp.), consumed during January.

He was known to ‘have a fierce thirst on him’, and have ‘the irritable bowel syndrome’, said a source. This probably meant a greater than average use of his home toilet facilities.

Failure to collect these monies will result in a serious shortfall of revenue for Irish Water. It’s understood their onsite Gym may now only have 20-30 Egyptian cotton towels available to staff, as opposed to the originally touted 50-60. I asked Minister for Finance Michael Noonan for comment – well I would have, but 11890 would not provide me with his home phone number. Bastards.


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